
Lately—and I’m guessing this comes as no surprise—I’ve been hearing from many people who are feeling untethered. They’re lonely, estranged from family, overwhelmed by the state of the world, or struggling with deep anger and uncertainty. These aren’t small feelings. They’re signs of a deeper spiritual exhaustion—something a friend and mentor of mine once called “world weariness.”
If you’re like me, you typically look for an external reason for these feelings of pain or discomfort. But my spiritual guides have taught me over many years that the answers are always inside instead.
So today, I’m sharing an excerpt from my book Let Your Spirit Guides Speak. This passage speaks to what I call “spiritual blackouts”—those times when you feel cut off from guidance, light, or peace. It’s something my guides have spoken to me about again and again, and I return to their words when I need grounding.
This excerpt starts with my own thoughts, then a request for insights from my writing guide, who I named Ella. I hope these words bring you the same comfort they’ve brought me.
Typically, I feel like I have an open line of conversation with spiritual guidance. It's as though there's a phone line extending from my right temple just above the eye to some unnamed place in the ether. It feels like my guides are with and around me— close by, and always available. We can chat throughout the day whenever I need help and remember to ask for it.
And then the spiritual blackout comes along. It feels like someone shuts a trap door overhead, cutting the phone line, and everything goes dark. It's the dark night of the soul, the wandering in the wilderness. It's not just a bad mood, irritability or frustration. This is a full-fledged fear-driven fury of silence and sadness.
Ella, what do you have to say about spiritual blackouts?
Spiritual blackouts are necessary and helpful. Just as plants need dormancy and darkness, so do the soul and mind. A blackout is a rest period, even though it can feel unrestful. The only reason it feels that way is because you resist and fight it, and there is so much fear around it. Stop judging it, and you will not be so miserable. It is a time to rejuvenate and nourish yourself.
Your electrical system is expanding, and often the blackout is caused by an overloaded circuit. A blackout is the perfect name for it, because it's as though the fuses have been blown, and there needs to be a period of rest before the lights go back on. This is why your pleas for help seem to go unbidden, because it's simply not time yet. You need to be quiet and under the radar, if you will.
Because you expect to feel good all the time, though, you judge the experience and think something is wrong with you. instead, embrace the times of darkness, get lots of sleep, and be quiet, and you will grow more quickly once the light shines again.
There is nothing wrong with spiritual blackouts because they can lead to great growth. But the misery in them can be minimized if you work with them rather than against them. Growth is inevitable. Misery is optional.
It is important to make the point that our availability to you as guides does not change during this time. In fact, we hover close and are protective because we understand how alone you feel while you're in the darkness. We are here with you always, whether you are aware or can hear us or not.
So what do you do when praying doesn't seem to help? When you’re committed to the misery? How can you be sure that the dark night will end—or that you want it to? When you don't know anything else is available to you, what do you do?
There can be a feeling of desperation in spiritual blackout, a giving up. It's important to know that there are two ways to give up.
One is giving up control, which is an act of the higher self—a statement of trust in a higher power. It is giving up trying so hard. Giving up the fight.
The other is giving up hope, which is an act of the ego—a statement of fear that you're not good enough to deserve happiness.
This is when you use prayer not as a request, but as a lifeline. You use it even when you don't believe it's being heard. You recognize the fear, and that the prison you seem to be in is only of your own mind. We can help you, but only if you ask. For example…
“Please heal my fear-based thoughts even though I don't feel like I deserve it.”
“Please heal my fear-based thoughts even though I don't think it will help.”
“Please heal my commitment to fear in this moment so I can remember the light that I am.”
Then take a nap, go for a walk, sit and cry, beat on a pillow, reach out to someone, write out your misery. Do whatever productive thing you can to expel the fear from your body, which will help accelerate the healing.
The blackout may seem like a long road for some people, other times it will be short—a matter of hours or days. The most important thing, no matter what the duration, is to remember that the light within you is still shining through it all. You may not see or feel it. It may feel like the pilot light has been snuffed out, but that is not possible. Hold on to that light, no matter how dim it may seem, because it is not shining any less than usual. It's just that you've heaped more fear on it, and have made it seem less powerful.
Most of all, remember that this darkness is not you. It is a belief system that has taken hold temporarily but will loosen its grip so you can remember the light that you are. And remember, we are here with you. Ask us for help.
If you’re in a spiritual blackout, here’s something you can say to your guides to help feel their presence again:
“My ego wants me to believe I’ve messed up and made mistakes that can’t be fixed. Or that the world is broken, with no regard for suffering, and healing may not be possible. But I know these are just errors in my thinking, and that you can correct them. I ask for your help as I go through this time. Please help me receive your guidance and presence. Please help me awaken to new insights. This time of rest will yield something wonderful if I pay attention and look for the gift. Thank you for always being there.”
I hope this helps with your challenging times. May you feel the light shining from within.
With blessings,
Deb
“A WORLD OF YOUR OWN” IS A READER-SUPPORTED PUBLICATION. To receive new posts and support my work, please consider becoming a paid subscriber.
A NOTE TO MY READERS: I write “A World of Your Own” as a member of the Iowa Writers’ Collaborative, which is led by Julie Gammack, of Des Moines. I’m honored to be part of this group, featuring the diverse voices of more than 70 professional writers and journalists across the state of Iowa. I encourage you to check out their columns.
Thank you, Debra. This column is such a gift.
Nice to see you again, Deb.